{"title":"Home page","description":null,"products":[{"product_id":"paper-mache-porterhouse-steak","title":"Papier Mâché Porterhouse Steak","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-huuid=\"12402823927385524424\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e10\" x 7 3\/4\"\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-huuid=\"12402823927385524424\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eHandcrafted papier mâché\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e Porterhouse Steak.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"0\" data-end=\"66\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"0\" data-end=\"34\"\u003ePapier-Mâché Porterhouse Steak\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"34\" data-end=\"37\"\u003e\u003cem data-start=\"37\" data-end=\"66\"\u003e“The Rare Medium Done Well”\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"68\" data-end=\"417\"\u003eBehold this majestic cut of pure pulp perfection — a \u003cstrong data-start=\"121\" data-end=\"164\"\u003ehandmade papier-mâché porterhouse steak\u003c\/strong\u003e, equal parts \u003cstrong data-start=\"178\" data-end=\"223\"\u003ewhimsy, wonder, and well-marbled mischief\u003c\/strong\u003e. Lovingly crafted from old grocery lists, failed poetry drafts, and the occasional unpaid bill, this prime cut boasts \u003cstrong data-start=\"342\" data-end=\"362\"\u003efibrous fat caps\u003c\/strong\u003e and \u003cstrong data-start=\"367\" data-end=\"416\"\u003egristle you can’t chew but will surely admire\u003c\/strong\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"419\" data-end=\"768\"\u003ePainted in luscious hues of crimson, blush, and browned edges (with just a hint of artistic hubris), it rests proudly on its mock bone — a recycled chopstick that once stirred three kinds of instant ramen. Whether displayed on a plate or framed as absurdist cuisine, this steak says, “I’m medium-rare in temperament and entirely inedible by design.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"770\" data-end=\"912\" data-is-last-node=\"\" data-is-only-node=\"\"\u003ePerfect for the vegetarian with a sense of humor or the carnivore who’s open to interpretation.\u003cbr data-start=\"865\" data-end=\"868\"\u003eNo refrigeration required. Just imagination.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"The Paper Butcher","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":46150762823938,"sku":"MACHE-PORTERHOUSE-001","price":150.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0755\/9443\/2770\/files\/EmptyName_87.jpg?v=1751434163"},{"product_id":"paper-mache-t-bone-steak","title":"Papier Mâché T-bone Steak","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-huuid=\"12402823927385524424\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e10\" x 6 1\/2\"\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-huuid=\"12402823927385524424\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eHandcrafted papier mâché\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e T-bone Steak.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"0\" data-end=\"66\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"0\" data-end=\"29\"\u003ePapier-Mâché T-Bone Steak\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"29\" data-end=\"32\"\u003e\u003cem data-start=\"32\" data-end=\"66\"\u003e“Two Cuts, One Paper-Thin Dream”\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"68\" data-end=\"503\"\u003eFeast your eyes (and only your eyes) on this \u003cstrong data-start=\"113\" data-end=\"151\"\u003ehandmade papier-mâché T-bone steak\u003c\/strong\u003e — the glorious union of \u003cstrong data-start=\"176\" data-end=\"231\"\u003eimpractical sculpture and unapologetic meat mimicry\u003c\/strong\u003e. Lovingly formed from repurposed junk mail, forgotten to-do lists, and a few tear-stained pages from someone’s culinary memoir, it features the iconic T-shaped backbone that says: “Yes, I contain multitudes — tenderloin \u003cem data-start=\"452\" data-end=\"457\"\u003eand\u003c\/em\u003e strip. And also a grocery receipt from 2022.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"505\" data-end=\"726\"\u003ePainted in sumptuous shades of mahogany, maroon, and just a hint of imaginary grill marks, this artistic entrée flaunts its \u003cstrong data-start=\"629\" data-end=\"667\"\u003eanatomically questionable marbling\u003c\/strong\u003e with confidence and just a touch of existential confusion.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"728\" data-end=\"903\"\u003eWhether mounted, plated, or dramatically unveiled at your next dinner party, it’s the perfect piece for the meat-lover with a soft spot for satire and a deep respect for pulp.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"905\" data-end=\"969\" data-is-last-node=\"\" data-is-only-node=\"\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"905\" data-end=\"969\" data-is-last-node=\"\"\u003eNo grill required. Just guts, glue, and glittering delusion.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"The Paper Butcher","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":46150793625858,"sku":"MACHE-TBONE-001","price":150.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0755\/9443\/2770\/files\/EmptyName_74.jpg?v=1751437782"},{"product_id":"paper-mache-tomahawk-steak","title":"Papier Mâché Tomahawk Steak","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-huuid=\"12402823927385524424\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e10\" x 3 1\/2\"\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-huuid=\"12402823927385524424\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eHandcrafted papier mâché\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e Tomahawk Steak.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"The Paper Butcher","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":46150933807362,"sku":"MACHE-TOMAHAWK-001","price":130.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0755\/9443\/2770\/files\/EmptyName_67.jpg?v=1751435985"},{"product_id":"paper-mache-ham-leg","title":"Papier Mâché Raw Ham","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-huuid=\"12402823927385524424\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e9\" x 11\"\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-huuid=\"12402823927385524424\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eHandcrafted Papier Mâché\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e Raw Ham.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"0\" data-end=\"74\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"0\" data-end=\"24\"\u003ePapier-Mâché Raw Ham\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"24\" data-end=\"27\"\u003e\u003cem data-start=\"27\" data-end=\"74\"\u003e“The Uncured Delight of Questionable Origins”\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"76\" data-end=\"410\"\u003eBehold the \u003cstrong data-start=\"87\" data-end=\"120\"\u003ehandmade papier-mâché raw ham\u003c\/strong\u003e — a bulbous, blushing marvel of pulp and possibility, lovingly sculpted from \u003cstrong data-start=\"198\" data-end=\"277\"\u003eabandoned office memos, vintage romance novels, and the occasional tax form\u003c\/strong\u003e. With its plump, rounded form and suggestively marbled exterior, it’s less “ready to roast” and more “ready to confuse your guests.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"412\" data-end=\"673\"\u003ePainted in luscious shades of fleshy pink and streaked with whimsical faux-fat, this uncooked confection wears a \u003cstrong data-start=\"525\" data-end=\"542\"\u003emock bone nub\u003c\/strong\u003e (possibly a rolled-up bookmark) with the regal flair of a meat that knows it’s \u003cstrong data-start=\"622\" data-end=\"672\"\u003edeeply impractical yet artistically invaluable\u003c\/strong\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"675\" data-end=\"925\"\u003eWhether you display it on a platter, hang it like prosciutto, or cradle it lovingly like a paper baby of protein and purpose, this ham is \u003cstrong data-start=\"813\" data-end=\"862\"\u003ethe ultimate in farm-to-table-to-fantasy fare\u003c\/strong\u003e. It’s raw, it’s ridiculous, and it’s remarkably low in sodium.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"927\" data-end=\"993\" data-is-last-node=\"\" data-is-only-node=\"\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"927\" data-end=\"993\" data-is-last-node=\"\"\u003eUnsmoked. Uncured. Utterly unnecessary — and that’s the point.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"The Paper Butcher","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":46150944129282,"sku":"MACHE-RAWHAM-001","price":350.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0755\/9443\/2770\/files\/EmptyName_96.jpg?v=1751435046"},{"product_id":"papier-mache-filet-mignon","title":"Papier Mâché Filet Mignon","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-huuid=\"12402823927385524424\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e4\" x 2\"\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-huuid=\"12402823927385524424\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eHandcrafted papier mâché\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e Filet Mignon.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"0\" data-end=\"77\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"0\" data-end=\"29\"\u003ePapier-Mâché Filet Mignon\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"29\" data-end=\"32\"\u003e\u003cem data-start=\"32\" data-end=\"77\"\u003e“Tenderness You Can’t Sink Your Teeth Into”\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"79\" data-end=\"308\"\u003eIntroducing the crown jewel of absurd artisanal meats: the \u003cstrong data-start=\"138\" data-end=\"176\"\u003ehandmade papier-mâché filet mignon\u003c\/strong\u003e, a compact cylinder of \u003cstrong data-start=\"200\" data-end=\"219\"\u003eculinary whimsy\u003c\/strong\u003e so tender, it practically folds under the weight of your admiration — but not your fork.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"310\" data-end=\"606\"\u003eSculpted from recycled love letters, misprinted menus, and a dash of old-fashioned ego, this dainty darling is \u003cstrong data-start=\"421\" data-end=\"466\"\u003ewrapped in a tasteful strip of faux bacon\u003c\/strong\u003e (read: painted tissue with delusions of grandeur) and tied lovingly with twine that once held together someone’s dreams of culinary school.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"608\" data-end=\"886\"\u003ePainted to perfection in warm, meaty reds with just a blush of medium-rare at the center, it’s the kind of steak that says, “I’m fancy, but I’ve read a zine.” Ideal for art lovers, ironic gourmets, or anyone who’s ever wanted to say, \u003cem data-start=\"842\" data-end=\"886\"\u003e“My favorite cut of beef is papier-mâché.”\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"888\" data-end=\"950\" data-is-last-node=\"\" data-is-only-node=\"\"\u003eZero calories. Infinite charm.\u003cbr data-start=\"918\" data-end=\"921\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"921\" data-end=\"950\" data-is-last-node=\"\"\u003eDo not sear. Just admire.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"The Paper Butcher","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":46185528656130,"sku":"MACHE-MIGNON-001","price":100.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0755\/9443\/2770\/files\/EmptyName_68.jpg?v=1751436106"},{"product_id":"papier-mache-boneless-prime-rib-roast","title":"Papier Mâché Boneless Prime Rib Roast","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-huuid=\"12402823927385524424\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e11\" x 8\"\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-huuid=\"12402823927385524424\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eHandcrafted papier mâché\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e Prime Rib Roast.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"0\" data-end=\"84\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"0\" data-end=\"41\"\u003ePapier-Mâché Boneless Prime Rib Roast\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"41\" data-end=\"44\"\u003e\u003cem data-start=\"44\" data-end=\"84\"\u003e“All the Flavor, None of the Function”\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"86\" data-end=\"431\"\u003ePresenting the \u003cstrong data-start=\"101\" data-end=\"151\"\u003ehandmade papier-mâché boneless prime rib roast\u003c\/strong\u003e — a glorious, gravity-defying tribute to decadence without consequence. Crafted from layers of shredded ambition, expired coupons, and the Sunday comics, this \u003cstrong data-start=\"311\" data-end=\"336\"\u003eculinary trompe-l'œil\u003c\/strong\u003e is \u003cstrong data-start=\"340\" data-end=\"385\"\u003ejuicy in spirit and boneless by necessity\u003c\/strong\u003e, because even fake meat deserves convenience.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"433\" data-end=\"733\"\u003ePainted with love (and possibly coffee), its \u003cstrong data-start=\"478\" data-end=\"506\"\u003ecrusty herb-rub exterior\u003c\/strong\u003e is rendered in mottled browns and sage greens, while the faux interior blushes with a confident medium-rare swagger. Every fold and swirl of this fibrous feast whispers: \u003cem data-start=\"677\" data-end=\"733\"\u003e“I once dreamed of being brisket, but I aimed higher.”\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"735\" data-end=\"919\"\u003eFree from cholesterol, heat, and all known food groups, it’s the perfect centerpiece for the holiday table of someone who \u003cstrong data-start=\"857\" data-end=\"918\"\u003eloves drama, hates cooking, and owns more glue than sense\u003c\/strong\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"921\" data-end=\"1012\" data-is-last-node=\"\" data-is-only-node=\"\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"921\" data-end=\"963\"\u003eBoneless. Boundless. Utterly beefless.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"963\" data-end=\"966\"\u003eServe with imagination and a side of applause.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"The Paper Butcher","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":46185529868546,"sku":"MACHE-PRIMEROAST-001","price":350.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0755\/9443\/2770\/files\/EmptyName_47.jpg?v=1751435180"},{"product_id":"papier-mache-tri-tip-steak","title":"Papier Mâché Tri-Tip Steak","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-huuid=\"12402823927385524424\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e11 1\/2\" x 7 1\/2\"\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-huuid=\"12402823927385524424\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eHandcrafted papier mâché\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e Tri-Tip Steak.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"0\" data-end=\"87\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"0\" data-end=\"30\"\u003ePapier-Mâché Tri-Tip Steak\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"30\" data-end=\"33\"\u003e\u003cem data-start=\"33\" data-end=\"87\"\u003e“The Art of the Triangle, Rarely Attempted in Paper”\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"89\" data-end=\"432\"\u003eIntroducing the \u003cstrong data-start=\"105\" data-end=\"144\"\u003ehandmade papier-mâché Tri-Tip steak\u003c\/strong\u003e — the rebellious cousin of the beef family, reimagined in \u003cstrong data-start=\"203\" data-end=\"250\"\u003erecycled elegance and unapologetic geometry\u003c\/strong\u003e. Shaped like a wedge of delicious mystery and painted in smoky reds and seared browns, this pointy little masterpiece whispers: \u003cem data-start=\"379\" data-end=\"432\"\u003e“I’m not a common cut, I’m a conversation starter.”\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"434\" data-end=\"758\"\u003eCrafted from retired parking tickets, passive-aggressive notes, and origami that gave up halfway through, this Tri-Tip flaunts its \u003cstrong data-start=\"565\" data-end=\"587\"\u003efibrous confidence\u003c\/strong\u003e and \u003cstrong data-start=\"592\" data-end=\"620\"\u003eimpossible-to-chew charm\u003c\/strong\u003e with pride. It's got the boldness of barbecue and the fragility of paper dreams — a \u003cstrong data-start=\"705\" data-end=\"757\"\u003egrill-master’s muse turned sculptor’s side quest\u003c\/strong\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"760\" data-end=\"914\"\u003eIdeal for the pitmaster who ran out of propane but not imagination, or the vegetarian who enjoys steak-shaped statements with none of the ethical baggage.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"916\" data-end=\"992\" data-is-last-node=\"\" data-is-only-node=\"\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"916\" data-end=\"992\" data-is-last-node=\"\"\u003eSliced against the grain of reality.\u003cbr data-start=\"954\" data-end=\"957\"\u003eServed with a side of surrealism.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"The Paper Butcher","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":46185530228994,"sku":"MACHE-TRITIP-001","price":180.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0755\/9443\/2770\/files\/EmptyName_64.jpg?v=1751435762"},{"product_id":"papier-mache-new-york-strip-steak","title":"Papier Mâché New York Strip Steak","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-huuid=\"12402823927385524424\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e9 1\/2\" x 5\"\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-huuid=\"12402823927385524424\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eHandcrafted papier mâché\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e Tri-Tip Steak.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"0\" data-end=\"90\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"0\" data-end=\"37\"\u003ePapier-Mâché New York Strip Steak\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"37\" data-end=\"40\"\u003e\u003cem data-start=\"40\" data-end=\"90\"\u003e“The Big Apple’s Boldest Cut, Now in Paper Form”\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"92\" data-end=\"448\"\u003eIntroducing the \u003cstrong data-start=\"108\" data-end=\"154\"\u003ehandmade papier-mâché New York Strip Steak\u003c\/strong\u003e — a sleek, swaggering slab of artful absurdity with all the confidence of a Wall Street banker and none of the cholesterol. Lovingly crafted from \u003cstrong data-start=\"301\" data-end=\"387\"\u003erecycled subway maps, overcaffeinated to-go menus, and the faint scent of ambition\u003c\/strong\u003e, this cut means business — even if it’s entirely decorative.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"450\" data-end=\"771\"\u003ePainted with rich mahogany browns and a flirtatious stripe of pink center, it features a \u003cstrong data-start=\"539\" data-end=\"572\"\u003edelightfully arrogant fat cap\u003c\/strong\u003e, sculpted from glue-soaked napkins and the occasional parking validation. This steak doesn’t just lie there — it \u003cem data-start=\"686\" data-end=\"695\"\u003elounges\u003c\/em\u003e, daring you to ask, \u003cem data-start=\"716\" data-end=\"771\"\u003e“Is it medium-rare, or just emotionally unavailable?”\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"773\" data-end=\"893\"\u003ePerfect for urban carnivores, ironic foodies, or anyone who’s ever said, \u003cem data-start=\"846\" data-end=\"893\"\u003e“I love steak, but I wish it were flammable.”\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"895\" data-end=\"948\" data-is-last-node=\"\" data-is-only-node=\"\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"895\" data-end=\"948\" data-is-last-node=\"\"\u003eSizzle-free. Smugly stylish.\u003cbr data-start=\"925\" data-end=\"928\"\u003eAll bite, no chew.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"The Paper Butcher","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":46185531736322,"sku":"MACHE-NYSTRIP-001","price":150.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0755\/9443\/2770\/files\/EmptyName_72.jpg?v=1751436405"},{"product_id":"papier-mache-oyster-with-pearl","title":"Papier Mâché Oyster with Pearl","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-huuid=\"12402823927385524424\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e11\" x 6\"\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-huuid=\"12402823927385524424\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eHandcrafted papier mâché\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e Oyster with Pearl.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"0\" data-end=\"98\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"0\" data-end=\"42\"\u003ePapier-Mâché Shelled Oyster with Pearl\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"42\" data-end=\"45\"\u003e\u003cem data-start=\"45\" data-end=\"98\"\u003e“The World Is Your Oyster — And It’s Made of Paper”\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"100\" data-end=\"370\"\u003eBehold the \u003cstrong data-start=\"111\" data-end=\"151\"\u003ehandmade papier-mâché shelled oyster\u003c\/strong\u003e, a briny little treasure from the depths of absurd luxury, complete with its very own \u003cstrong data-start=\"238\" data-end=\"268\"\u003eimpossibly glamorous pearl\u003c\/strong\u003e — lovingly crafted from \u003cstrong data-start=\"293\" data-end=\"369\"\u003ecrumpled cocktail napkins, grocery receipts, and sheer artistic audacity\u003c\/strong\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"372\" data-end=\"658\"\u003eThe shell? A glorious, ruffled fan of layered pulp, painted in salty greys, oceanic blues, and just a hint of regret. It opens coyly to reveal the star: a \u003cstrong data-start=\"527\" data-end=\"561\"\u003eperfectly imperfect faux pearl\u003c\/strong\u003e, fashioned from a balled-up receipt for canned soup and painted with mother-of-glue iridescence.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"660\" data-end=\"863\"\u003eThis oyster doesn’t whisper “freshly shucked,” it shouts \u003cstrong data-start=\"717\" data-end=\"751\"\u003e“shamelessly shellf-conscious”\u003c\/strong\u003e. Ideal for landlocked mermaids, seafood romantics, or those who believe even mollusks deserve a dramatic debut.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"865\" data-end=\"939\" data-is-last-node=\"\" data-is-only-node=\"\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"865\" data-end=\"939\" data-is-last-node=\"\"\u003eZero grit. All glamour.\u003cbr data-start=\"890\" data-end=\"893\"\u003eFor display only — unless you're very brave.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"The Paper Butcher","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":46185532129538,"sku":"MACHE-OYSTER-001","price":300.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0755\/9443\/2770\/files\/EmptyName_81.jpg?v=1751433147"},{"product_id":"papier-mache-portabello-mushroom","title":"Papier Mâché Portobello Mushroom","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-huuid=\"12402823927385524424\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e9\" x 4\"\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-huuid=\"12402823927385524424\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eHandcrafted Papier Mâché\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e Portobello Mushroom.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"0\" data-end=\"100\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"0\" data-end=\"46\"\u003eOversized Papier-Mâché Portobello Mushroom\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"46\" data-end=\"49\"\u003e\u003cem data-start=\"49\" data-end=\"100\"\u003e“One Fungus to Rule Them All — In Paper We Trust”\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"102\" data-end=\"346\"\u003eIntroducing the \u003cstrong data-start=\"118\" data-end=\"173\"\u003eoversized handmade papier-mâché portobello mushroom\u003c\/strong\u003e — a gloriously exaggerated toadstool of taste and tactlessness, plucked not from a forest floor but from the fertile compost of artistic ambition and misplaced seriousness.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"348\" data-end=\"689\"\u003eStanding proudly with a \u003cstrong data-start=\"372\" data-end=\"437\"\u003ecap the size of a dinner plate and the drama of an opera diva\u003c\/strong\u003e, this mushroom is sculpted from \u003cstrong data-start=\"470\" data-end=\"547\"\u003eabandoned field trip forms, pizza flyers, and a few existential questions\u003c\/strong\u003e, then painted in rich umami browns and earthy tans with lovingly detailed gills that whisper, \u003cem data-start=\"642\" data-end=\"689\"\u003e“I contain multitudes, and possibly glitter.”\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"691\" data-end=\"853\"\u003ePerfect for faux-foraging enthusiasts, kitchen décor rebels, or anyone who’s ever asked, \u003cem data-start=\"780\" data-end=\"853\"\u003e“What if this mushroom were three times too big and entirely inedible?”\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"855\" data-end=\"913\" data-is-last-node=\"\" data-is-only-node=\"\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"855\" data-end=\"913\" data-is-last-node=\"\"\u003eRootless. Spore-free.\u003cbr data-start=\"878\" data-end=\"881\"\u003eAnd far too fabulous to sauté.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"The Paper Butcher","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":46445213942018,"sku":"MACHE-PORTOBELLO-001","price":285.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0755\/9443\/2770\/files\/EmptyName_39.jpg?v=1751431228"},{"product_id":"papier-mache-meat-cleaver","title":"Papier Mâché Meat Cleaver","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-huuid=\"12402823927385524424\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e5\" x 12\"\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-huuid=\"12402823927385524424\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eHandcrafted Papier Mâché\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e Meat Cleaver.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"0\" data-end=\"64\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"0\" data-end=\"38\"\u003eHandmade Papier-Mâché Meat Cleaver\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"38\" data-end=\"41\"\u003e\u003cem data-start=\"41\" data-end=\"64\"\u003e“All Chop, No Danger”\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"66\" data-end=\"386\"\u003eMeet the \u003cstrong data-start=\"75\" data-end=\"113\"\u003ehandmade papier-mâché meat cleaver\u003c\/strong\u003e — the boldest blade in the utensil drawer that couldn’t cut a thing but still makes a scene. Sculpted from \u003cstrong data-start=\"221\" data-end=\"298\"\u003egrocery bags, unsolicited catalogs, and just a sliver of dramatic tension\u003c\/strong\u003e, this cleaver is all about the \u003cstrong data-start=\"330\" data-end=\"385\"\u003etheatrics of butchery without the bother of cleanup\u003c\/strong\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"388\" data-end=\"663\"\u003eIts broad, imposing blade is painted in steely grays with a whisper of patina (read: glue streaks), and its handle? A faux-wood masterpiece carved from \u003cstrong data-start=\"540\" data-end=\"608\"\u003erolled-up dinner invitations and passive-aggressive fridge notes\u003c\/strong\u003e. It may be blunt in form, but it’s sharp in character.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"665\" data-end=\"803\"\u003ePerfect for whimsical kitchens, theatrical still lifes, or the vegetarian who enjoys \u003cem data-start=\"750\" data-end=\"772\"\u003e“murder weapon chic”\u003c\/em\u003e with zero risk of actual harm.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"805\" data-end=\"881\" data-is-last-node=\"\" data-is-only-node=\"\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"805\" data-end=\"881\" data-is-last-node=\"\"\u003eIntimidatingly harmless.\u003cbr data-start=\"831\" data-end=\"834\"\u003eThe only cleaver that’s 100% paper, 0% peril.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"The Paper Butcher","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":46445266108674,"sku":"MACHE-CLEAVER-001","price":130.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0755\/9443\/2770\/files\/EmptyName_57.jpg?v=1751432769"},{"product_id":"papier-mache-butcher-block","title":"Papier Mâché Butcher Block","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-huuid=\"12402823927385524424\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e15\" x 10 1\/2\" x 6\"\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-huuid=\"12402823927385524424\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eHandcrafted Papier Mâché\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e Butcher Block.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"0\" data-end=\"94\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"0\" data-end=\"39\"\u003eHandmade Papier-Mâché Butcher Block\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"39\" data-end=\"42\"\u003e\u003cem data-start=\"42\" data-end=\"94\"\u003e“For Chops, Charms, and Questionable Life Choices”\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"96\" data-end=\"429\"\u003eIntroducing the \u003cstrong data-start=\"112\" data-end=\"151\"\u003ehandmade papier-mâché butcher block\u003c\/strong\u003e — a stout, suspiciously sturdy slab of faux-wood fabulousness, crafted entirely from \u003cstrong data-start=\"237\" data-end=\"313\"\u003eshredded phone books, forgotten to-do lists, and unspoken family recipes\u003c\/strong\u003e. This is not your average cutting surface — it’s a \u003cstrong data-start=\"365\" data-end=\"429\"\u003estage for theatrical meal prep that will never, ever happen.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"431\" data-end=\"765\"\u003ePainted in rich, rustic browns with woodgrain so convincing it might fool a sleepy lumberjack, this block exudes \u003cstrong data-start=\"544\" data-end=\"567\"\u003eculinary confidence\u003c\/strong\u003e with absolutely zero structural integrity. It's the perfect perch for your papier-mâché steaks, cleavers, or artistic angst — but please, for the love of glue, \u003cstrong data-start=\"728\" data-end=\"764\"\u003edon’t try to dice an onion on it\u003c\/strong\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"767\" data-end=\"965\"\u003eIdeal for display in kitchens where \u003cstrong data-start=\"803\" data-end=\"851\"\u003enothing is edible but everything is dramatic\u003c\/strong\u003e, or as a thoughtful gift for that friend who’s \u003cem data-start=\"899\" data-end=\"965\"\u003eemotionally prepared to cook but spiritually allergic to effort.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"967\" data-end=\"1026\" data-is-last-node=\"\" data-is-only-node=\"\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"967\" data-end=\"1026\" data-is-last-node=\"\"\u003eAll block. No butcher.\u003cbr data-start=\"991\" data-end=\"994\"\u003eWhere meat meets make-believe.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"The Paper Butcher","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":46445306740994,"sku":"MACHE-BUTCHERBLOCK-001","price":350.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0755\/9443\/2770\/files\/EmptyName_61-Edit_22bbcae7-00f9-494f-8388-7e49c75b2c73.jpg?v=1751432233"},{"product_id":"papier-mache-ribeye-steak","title":"Papier Mâché Ribeye Steak","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-huuid=\"12402823927385524424\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e9\" x 5 3\/4\"\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-huuid=\"12402823927385524424\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eHandcrafted papier mâché\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e Ribeye Steak.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"0\" data-end=\"66\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"0\" data-end=\"34\"\u003ePapier-Mâché Porterhouse Steak\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"34\" data-end=\"37\"\u003e\u003cem data-start=\"37\" data-end=\"66\"\u003e“The Rare Medium Done Well”\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"68\" data-end=\"417\"\u003eBehold this majestic cut of pure pulp perfection — a \u003cstrong data-start=\"121\" data-end=\"164\"\u003ehandmade papier-mâché porterhouse steak\u003c\/strong\u003e, equal parts \u003cstrong data-start=\"178\" data-end=\"223\"\u003ewhimsy, wonder, and well-marbled mischief\u003c\/strong\u003e. Lovingly crafted from old grocery lists, failed poetry drafts, and the occasional unpaid bill, this prime cut boasts \u003cstrong data-start=\"342\" data-end=\"362\"\u003efibrous fat caps\u003c\/strong\u003e and \u003cstrong data-start=\"367\" data-end=\"416\"\u003egristle you can’t chew but will surely admire\u003c\/strong\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"419\" data-end=\"768\"\u003ePainted in luscious hues of crimson, blush, and browned edges (with just a hint of artistic hubris), it rests proudly on its mock bone — a recycled chopstick that once stirred three kinds of instant ramen. Whether displayed on a plate or framed as absurdist cuisine, this steak says, “I’m medium-rare in temperament and entirely inedible by design.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"770\" data-end=\"912\" data-is-last-node=\"\" data-is-only-node=\"\"\u003ePerfect for the vegetarian with a sense of humor or the carnivore who’s open to interpretation.\u003cbr data-start=\"865\" data-end=\"868\"\u003eNo refrigeration required. Just imagination.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"The Paper Butcher","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":46448513515778,"sku":"MACHE-RIBEYE-001","price":150.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0755\/9443\/2770\/files\/EmptyName_78.jpg?v=1751436486"}],"url":"https:\/\/thepaperbutcher.com\/collections\/frontpage.oembed","provider":"Le Boucher de Papier","version":"1.0","type":"link"}