Papier Mâché Raw Ham

9" x 11"

Handcrafted Papier Mâché Raw Ham.

Papier-Mâché Raw Ham
“The Uncured Delight of Questionable Origins”

Behold the handmade papier-mâché raw ham — a bulbous, blushing marvel of pulp and possibility, lovingly sculpted from abandoned office memos, vintage romance novels, and the occasional tax form. With its plump, rounded form and suggestively marbled exterior, it’s less “ready to roast” and more “ready to confuse your guests.”

Painted in luscious shades of fleshy pink and streaked with whimsical faux-fat, this uncooked confection wears a mock bone nub (possibly a rolled-up bookmark) with the regal flair of a meat that knows it’s deeply impractical yet artistically invaluable.

Whether you display it on a platter, hang it like prosciutto, or cradle it lovingly like a paper baby of protein and purpose, this ham is the ultimate in farm-to-table-to-fantasy fare. It’s raw, it’s ridiculous, and it’s remarkably low in sodium.

Unsmoked. Uncured. Utterly unnecessary — and that’s the point.