Papier Mâché Porterhouse Steak

10" x 7 3/4"

Handcrafted papier mâché Porterhouse Steak.

Papier-Mâché Porterhouse Steak
“The Rare Medium Done Well”

Behold this majestic cut of pure pulp perfection — a handmade papier-mâché porterhouse steak, equal parts whimsy, wonder, and well-marbled mischief. Lovingly crafted from old grocery lists, failed poetry drafts, and the occasional unpaid bill, this prime cut boasts fibrous fat caps and gristle you can’t chew but will surely admire.

Painted in luscious hues of crimson, blush, and browned edges (with just a hint of artistic hubris), it rests proudly on its mock bone — a recycled chopstick that once stirred three kinds of instant ramen. Whether displayed on a plate or framed as absurdist cuisine, this steak says, “I’m medium-rare in temperament and entirely inedible by design.”

Perfect for the vegetarian with a sense of humor or the carnivore who’s open to interpretation.
No refrigeration required. Just imagination.