Papier Mâché Filet Mignon

4" x 2"

Handcrafted papier mâché Filet Mignon.

Papier-Mâché Filet Mignon
“Tenderness You Can’t Sink Your Teeth Into”

Introducing the crown jewel of absurd artisanal meats: the handmade papier-mâché filet mignon, a compact cylinder of culinary whimsy so tender, it practically folds under the weight of your admiration — but not your fork.

Sculpted from recycled love letters, misprinted menus, and a dash of old-fashioned ego, this dainty darling is wrapped in a tasteful strip of faux bacon (read: painted tissue with delusions of grandeur) and tied lovingly with twine that once held together someone’s dreams of culinary school.

Painted to perfection in warm, meaty reds with just a blush of medium-rare at the center, it’s the kind of steak that says, “I’m fancy, but I’ve read a zine.” Ideal for art lovers, ironic gourmets, or anyone who’s ever wanted to say, “My favorite cut of beef is papier-mâché.”

Zero calories. Infinite charm.
Do not sear. Just admire.